A note before we start
No two families celebrate the same way. Customs change by village, church, country and generation, and between families who have lived here for decades and those who arrived last year. Treat what follows as a starting point for the conversation with your family, your priest or imam and your venue.
Armenian weddings
- Khosk-kap. The "word-binding": the formal agreement between the two families that begins the engagement.
- The kavor and kavorkin. The godfather and godmother of the marriage, often a long-married couple the groom trusts. They stand with the couple at the church and are honored throughout the day.
- The crowning. In the Armenian Apostolic Church, the wedding service centers on the rite of crowning, followed by the blessing of a shared cup of wine. Book the church before the hall.
- Lavash and honey. The groom's mother welcomes the bride by placing lavash, the thin Armenian flatbread, over the couple's shoulders and offering honey for a sweet life. Some families do it at home, others at the entrance to the reception.
- The dancing. Circle and line dances such as the kochari bring every generation to the floor at once, and many families toss money over the couple as they dance.
Arab weddings
- Katb al-kitab. For Muslim couples, the signing of the marriage contract with an imam or sheikh and witnesses, sometimes held days before the reception, at a mosque, at home or in a smaller room at the venue.
- The church service. For Christian Arab couples, the wedding takes place in their church: in the Orthodox churches, a crowning service.
- Laylat al-henna. The henna night, usually a few days before the wedding, with the bride, the women of both families, music and henna designs.
- The zaffe. The procession that brings the couple into the hall, with drummers, often horns or dancers, and the zaghareet, the ululation of the women.
- Dabke. The line dance of the Levant: arms linked or on shoulders, stamping in rhythm, led by one dancer at the head of the line.
- The sword and the cake. Many Lebanese, Palestinian, Syrian and Jordanian couples cut the cake with a sword.
What the venue needs to handle
| Need | Why it matters | Ask the venue |
|---|---|---|
| An entrance path | The zaffe and the couple's entrance need a straight, wide route from the door to the floor, with room for drummers | Where does the procession start, and is the path clear of tables? |
| A big dance floor | Dabke and kochari lines run around the room, and the whole family dances at once | How large is the floor at our guest count, and can tables move back after dinner? |
| Live drums and sound | Tabl, darbuka and dhol players are loud by design, often alongside a DJ | Are live drums allowed, where do musicians set up, and what are the volume and end-time rules? |
| The right food | Halal meat for Muslim families, Armenian or Arab dishes, mezze for a long night | Is the kitchen halal certified, or can we bring a halal or cultural caterer? |
| Alcohol, or none | Many Muslim families hold fully alcohol-free weddings; many Armenian and Christian Arab families do not | Can the bar be removed entirely, and is there a credit if it is? |
| A stage for the couple | Many Arab weddings seat the couple on a decorated stage or kosha facing the guests | Is there a riser, and how is it lit? |
| A late night | Receptions often run long, with dancing well past dinner | What is the latest end time, and what does an extra hour cost? |
| A quiet room | A space for Muslim guests to pray, or for elders to rest | Is there a private room we can use? |
Hookah and smoking
California bars smoking in enclosed workplaces, and a banquet hall is one (Labor Code 6404.5). Since 2016 the state's definition of smoking includes electronic smoking devices. Hookah and cigarettes belong outside, in whatever area the venue allows, away from the doors.
Guest count, seating and the long night
- Count generously. Extended family and family friends add up fast. Give the venue your real number early so the floor plan works.
- Seating. Some families seat men and women apart, or hold separate parties. Others mix freely. Tell the venue which you need before the floor plan is drawn.
- Food that lasts. A long night needs food after dinner: fruit, sweets, knafeh, coffee.
- A clear program. Write down the order of the zaffe, the entrance, dinner, dabke sets, the cake and any family speeches, and give it to the DJ, the drummers and the venue. Our vendor coordination guide shows how.
Sources
- California Labor Code, Section 6404.5 (smoking in enclosed places of employment)
- UNESCO, Kochari, traditional group dance (Representative List of the Intangible Cultural Heritage)
Treasure Banquets is an event venue, not a law firm, and this guide is not legal advice. We date every guide and update it when the rules change.